Smell
by northern

JC always says he likes to sleep a lot - that he can fall asleep whenever he wants and sleep for as long as they'll let him.

It used to be true, but now, sometimes, he can't. He'll lie awake for hours, breathing deeply. His pillow smells dusty. Or... maybe mouldy.

He's tried changing pillowcases, but the smell always returns after a while. Last week he changed his pillow, even though it was his favourite one.

The smell is back, now.

JC turns on his side again and wonders if the bed has gone mouldy, somehow. He doesn't like that thought. It makes him wonder if there are maybe living things under his sheets, gnawing their way upwards until they can get to him.

Now he's itching. He knows he's not really itching, that it's just because he thought of the eating things, but he can't make himself stop.

He sits up abruptly and puts the duvet flat on the sheet. He knows there's a comforter lying on the floor somewhere at the foot of the bed. He retrieves it in the dark and pulls it over himself. The comforter feels strangely rough against his skin, but he's calmer this way, protected from his bed and the tiny eaters that may or may not exist. The mouldy smell is drowned out by the smell of the comforter.

He should get the bed checked out. Or just exchanged. That would be easier.

The next day is a Justin day.

He comes over before lunch, fresh from his bike ride, smelling of asphalt.

"They were filling some holes down the street," he says when JC flares his nostrils and raises his eyebrows at him. "Some of it had set, but not all." He looks enthusiastic and holds up his hand for inspection. JC can see a few tiny black specks on the heel of his palm.

They spend the day on the couch, watching bad movies. Justin squeezes JC's calves whenever he sees something particularly bad.

They order pizza for dinner and eat it at the kitchen table with big glasses of water. When they've put away the garbage, Justin decisively backs him into the refrigerator door and kisses him. JC doesn't mind. He tilts his head accommodatingly when Justin wants to gnaw on his neck.

Justin wants to sleep in his bed, after. JC reluctantly agrees.

"You don't have to act so damn thrilled about it." Justin looks a little unhappy.

"It's just. It smells." He pulls at the comforter.

"I like the way you smell."

"No, I mean. The bed smells. I changed the pillow and everything."

Justin buries his face in JC's pillow.

"Man, it's you! This bed smells totally like you." Justin is smiling with a little twist to his lips.

JC's not convinced.

When Justin was eight, he had a big plush turtle named Franz.

He didn't bring it with him everywhere. It stayed in a box under his bed, safe and secure. The turtle was old, and Justin had found it outside. He only brought it out in the early mornings.

He puts it on his pillow and lies down on his side next to it. He edges his face close to Franz's underbelly and breathes in. Franz always smells good. It's probably a turtle thing.

Justin lifts his hand and strokes Franz's back, closing his eyes. He likes the feel of Franz. The way the seams bunch up the plush around them a little when Justin runs his fingers along them. How Franz's silky throat tickles Justin's nose and lips when he rubs them there. The way Franz feels when he hugs him tightly against his chest.

Franz is big enough that his arms feel full when he hugs him.

Justin lets his hand stroke Franz's back over and over and buries his face in the fur. The plush makes his palm tingle pleasantly. Franz grows warm against his face and he curls his head in tighter.

Sometimes, sunny mornings, his mother would get up early and make something extra for breakfast. On those mornings, she would call him, bringing him out of his warm dream. The light would be bright and his room would feel too big.

He carefully put the turtle in the box, slid the box under the bed and went downstairs.

Whenever Justin spends the night here, he ends up lying awake next to a sleeping JC. JC always sleeps a few hours more than him. It gives Justin the chance to really enjoy him. He likes these private moments, only for him.

JC is lying curled up on his side, like he almost always does when he's sleeping. The back of his neck is showing and Justin shifts closer to feel the warmth radiating from his naked skin. JC's sleep-soft hair is tickling his nose.

Justin pulls the cover down a little to see more of JC's back. He likes the skin there, thicker than anywhere else on his body but still very soft. He runs his fingers slowly up JC's spine, enjoying the smoothness of taut skin over each vertebra. The curve of the top one feels good under Justin's thumb and he pushes JC's hair out of the way and licks it.

Against his tongue, the patch of skin covering the knob of bone feels perfect. The taste is salt and burns a little. JC makes a small sound but doesn't wake up. Justin knows he won't.

He pushes JC's elbow out of the way to slide a hand along his ribs. His arm ends up lying loosely around JC's waist. The heat wherever JC's skin is touching his seeps into his bones and calms him.

He settles down on his back and tugs on JC until he's half lying on him. He wraps his arms around him and puts JC's head on his shoulder. It's just the right angle for Justin to be able to bury his face in JC's neck and breathe.

His arms feel full.