I Feel Like
by northern

Chris is taking a well-needed break from the group on one of the few free days Lou allows them. He walks around in London, enjoying the absolute peace of having nothing pressing to do. He does a lot of window shopping, looking at people sitting in cafes. He walks past a bar and stops abruptly as he sees a familiar blond head through the door. He looks an extra time at the sign above the entrance, and then in again at Brian Littrell sitting in a booth inside. He's not seeing things. Brian Littrell is sitting in a booth in a gay bar in London, unless Brian has a gay double walking around.

He thinks, 'what the fuck', and goes inside, right to Brian's table, and sits down. "Hey there, Littrell," he says and scoots to get more comfortable. "What's a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?"

Brian looks a little surprised. Chris takes an extra close look to confirm that this is, indeed, Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. He hasn't really ever spoken to any of their more famous label siblings. Chris decides that the jaw can't be imitated. He smiles. He can understand that Brian might feel a little caught. "Cat got your tongue, Littrell?" he says.

Brian seems to snap out of it. "No," he says slowly. "No, I just wasn't... expecting to see anyone I knew here."

"I bet you weren't," Chris says. He's a little amused by it all. Brian Littrell sitting in plain sight in a gay bar. "Nice little boybanders shouldn't be seen in places like this." He raises his eyebrows. "Or maybe your management is more forgiving?"

Brian looks a little confused. "What?" he says. "It's a bar. Is Lou forbidding you to drink, now?"

At first he thinks Brian is kidding. Then he realizes that Brian really has no idea of where he is. He bursts out laughing. He must have wandered in here, not looking, and sat down, never noticing anything strange about the place. Oh, he had heard the rumours that Brian maybe wasn't all there all of the time, but this! Brian sits quiet with a frown on his face and a stubborn set to his mouth as Chris honestly tries to stop laughing, but when he looks into those blue clueless eyes he just starts off again. Finally he collects himself enough to point a finger to the big rainbow flag hanging by the entrance.

"Look at the sign by the door," he says through the grin stretching his face almost in half.

Brian's gaze follows his outstretched arm and Chris can see the moment he really sees what's there. His eyes widen almost comically and his mouth falls open a little. His gaze shoots back to Chris.

"It's a GAY bar?" he says in a shocked voice. A patron at the next table turns around and looks at them, and Brian turns red, clapping a hand over his mouth and glancing worriedly around the room. It looks almost classically comical and Chris has to laugh again.

"And I didn't think the rumours about you were true!" he says through the laughter. Brian looks a little offended at that, but still very embarrassed.

"But. But, it looks just like every other bar I've been to," he half-whispers to Chris, and there's another amusing thought. Brian Littrell going into a series of gay bars, never knowing where he was, and, wonder of wonders, never ever getting hit on? But he probably doesn't mean it like that. "I didn't know it was a gay bar," Brian continues. "Shouldn't there be something more obvious to mark it?"

What could be more obvious than the rainbow flag, Chris wonders and gets a little irritated at the preconceptions of straight people. "What? You think all gay people have body-glitter or shit like that all over them?"

Brian looks instantly contrite. "No... It's just. I didn't know. Are you...?" He's sounding rather incoherent, and Chris wonders if straight-boy Brian Littrell might be amenable to a little experimentation. He's looking mighty flustered right now.

"Oh, I appreciate both this and that," he says in answer to Brian's half-finished question. "I'm surprised you've come this far in life without sucking cock, though."

It takes a moment before what he says sinks in, but then Brian blushes violently and stares at Chris.

"I wouldn't..." he says. He doesn't seem to be able to finish that sentence either. Chris decides to be helpful.

"... Suck cock?" he asks.

Brian flinches at the words, like they have some weird power to hurt him.

"Oh, every man should know how to suck cock," Chris continues. "It can come in surprisingly handy."

"It... can?" Brian is looking very unsettled, like this idea has never even occurred to him. Chris thinks it must have, at least some time. No one goes through life without having a few risqué fantasies.

"Sure," he says. He's feeling very helpful today, and Brian is looking not too bad there, cheeks flaming and mouth open. "I'll even teach you, if you want," he hears himself say. That might have been a little over the top, but he can make a joke of it involving a carrot if he has to.

"On you?" Brian says, looking mortified, but his eyes are still wide, his mouth is still open, and Chris thinks he won't need that carrot joke. He'll get an amateur blowjob instead, but there's worse ways to spend your day off.

"I've got nothing better to do," he says and scoots to get up from the booth. "My hotel room is empty."

Brian is sitting there at the table, staring at him and not moving. "Chris," he says, and Chris wonders if Brian is changing his mind after all.

"Yes, what?"

Brian just looks at him for a moment before he swallows visible and says "Nothing". He starts to get up and Chris turns, doesn't wait for Brian to stand. Brian can follow if he wants to. He does.

The hotel room is a little cluttered, clothes strewn on the bed and around the room. The first thing Chris does when they get inside is to clear the bed. He pulls the cover up and tells Brian to close the door behind him. All is quiet behind him, so at first he thinks that Brian must have turned and chickened out, but when he turns back to the door Brian is closing it.

He doesn't seem to be in any hurry to turn back towards Chris, though, so Chris kicks off his shoes and puts a hand on his arm, turning him around.

"Why am I doing this?" Brian asks when Chris looks in his eyes. He's looking perplexed, but the fire is still there. Chris is sure the question isn't meant for him to answer, but he does anyway.

"It doesn't matter," he says. "Because you want to. You wanna do this, Littrell?"

It's not too hard teaching Brian to keep his teeth off Chris's dick, and that's the most important thing anyway. Chris isn't expecting anything fancy out of this. Brian is a little timid at first, wary of getting too close to him, but that changes when their clothes come off. Brian seems to have decided that half-way is for weaklings and is rather enthusiastically licking and bobbing his head. His hair is just long enough to run his hands through, so that's what Chris does, murmuring extra instructions like "yes, there" and "use your tongue... yes." Brian really isn't too bad at this, it being his first time and all.

When Brian suddenly decides to seal his lips around his cock and start sucking, it's precisely in the right way and Chris can't keep his mouth shut and "you, uh, suck like Lance," slips out.

Brian stops his movements and Chris curses his ability to always say the wrong things in bed. Brian pulls off him with a wet smack.

"Um, what did you say?" he asks disbelievingly.

Chris groans in frustration and bangs his hand on the cover. His dick feels cold. "No, that's a compliment, see? Lance is fantastic." Lance is going to kill him if this gets back to him. "You're doing great. Now get back to it!"

Fortunately, Brian does. He's discovered that it's fun holding Chris's hips down and trying to make him buck. When Chris comes, Brian has apparently decided to spitting is for weaklings too, so he stays put even when Chris pushes weakly at him. He even succeeds in swallowing most of it.

Chris returns the favour, of course, to show him how it's really done.

When Brian leaves Chris's hotel room an hour after he went in, he's looking a little less confused. Chris, on the other hand, is wondering if this means that Kevin is going to come beat him up. But the weeks pass, and nothing happens, and Chris decides that no retaliation for turning a Backstreet Boy gay is going to come knocking.

Until JC stumbles into his hotel room one night looking shaken, and babbling about Howie.